Waiting For A Change

Out of the blue, or should I say purple, the scene changes again. I’m living in this wrong side of the mirror world where all I can behold is what might have been, the way things ought to be. My heart is pounding and I cannot explain it. I know that I must jump into a puddle and find my destiny. There is little relief except in early morning prayers, but by the time night is here, I am weary. Nevertheless I’ll class my hands, gaze upward and wait for redemption.

Sweet Friend

Lighter than air, I was suspended between too many states. Tears coursed down my face as I waited for something to happen to turn the tide in favor of one world or another, but nothing changed. However, in the best moment yet, I saw a dim blue light and a beautiful angel who was hovering over me. She crossed the room. As she grew closer, I heard her feet treading the tile, no longer flying but walking.

Her voice was inside my head, reassuring me that with one kiss to my weary forehead, I’d be free. I could go with her and not look back. When I asked if it was really true that I would not have to return, she smiled and nodded. You will be with me and that will be your home. Beautiful and wonderful things will happen to you. They already are, she finished with a gentle glance downward as we were actually walking together. I started to gasp with no longer shuttered tears. I’m going with you? Yes.

We walked like that for a while and I watched as she changed me from a lifeless form into a real person, now clad in a luscious black dress that shone like an aurora borealis as we began our ascent over the water. The great divide was just a trickle as she landed my body on the shore. I was still not used to the way this new body moved and shimmered in the air, driven by the hidden desires I was sure I would have to repress for the rest of my life. But this is beyond all of that, she reminded me. You are awake now. You are alive and you’ll never be left behind. I promise. You’re with me, sweet friend.

Zombie Nights/The Only Softness Is In The Afternoon

The image keeps me alert, hyperaware through the watches of the night. I sink into refuge of songs and better memories, but it only serves to stimulate my mind more. You turn me into a zombie when you are ironically never to come again. At this point, I have no idea what i would say to you. The only softness is in the afternoon, when my poor body gives out and I give in to sleep without a choice, mainly because the lack of truthfulness around me has faded to a dull roar. I actually murmured that it was good before I fell into the abyss, the first time since winter. But in a few hours I awoke to the beginnings of another vigilant night. And so it begins again, and I whisper prayers to be allowed to return to the soft, gentle exhaustion that actually loves me in reality.