Freedom Edits

Thanks to very helpful commentary from Russell J. Fellows, I’m going to use today’s blog to try to improve yesterday’s flash fiction piece, entitled Freedom. I’m new to flash fiction, so I want to take every opportunity to improve my writing and flow. 

Freedom

The scent of springtime was in the air as she drove along the winding coastal road with the top of the convertible down. It was hard to believe that less than a day before, everything had been so very different. Now he was beside her, holding her hand as she drove, smiling at the way her hair flew in the wind. As the highway began to lull her back into a sense of security, the terror they had Just escaped played over in her mind like a motion picture. 

***

She didn’t scare easily. But the chill that seeped into the marrow of her bones each time she looked into those icy eyes made her shiver. 

“You made all of this the way it is, didn’t you?” She glared as if each word could pierce an arrow into his nonexistent heart. 

“What would you say if I told you I did?” He was testing her as always. 

“I’d know that what I believed all along was true. You’re not even human.” 

“I’m better than you mediocre people,” he spat. 

“Not this time.” She nodded to the figure in the corner, who leapt into action. 

***

Now they were free. There was only the road ahead, each other’s love and not one regret. 

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